Lucy Porter – No Regrets!

Feb 15th 2025

Cafe / Bar open from 18:00
Doors 19:30
Onstage from 20:00

The irrepressible Lucy Porter bounces back into action with a show all about regrets. Frank Sinatra had too few to mention, but Lucy’s got hundreds, and she’s prepared to go into graphic detail about all of them. Disastrous dates, professional calamities, ruined friendships and parenting fails. Lucy describes all the mistakes she’s made, works out why they happened, and ponders how her life would have turned out if she’d acted differently. 

Lucy looks at the things we might all collectively regret – not sticking to the work-life balance we strove for during lockdown, not realising that clapping for the NHS wouldn’t be enough to save it, allowing people we thought were quite fun on TV to become politicians. 

 How does regret tie in with guilt and shame? As a middle-aged, middle-class, left-leaning ex-Catholic, guilt is one of Lucy’s top five hobbies (along with going to the garden centre, doing jigsaws, making bread and watching subtitled foreign dramas on Netflix. She’s also ashamed of all these hobbies.)

It’s not all negative though. If you regret something, you can use it to change your ways: see the thing you regret as your rock bottom, and let it spur you on to become a better person. Lucy looks at how she can use shameful or annoying things from her past to change her future.

Lucy regrets volunteering at the school fete when her kids were younger, because now she’s committed to being the Hook a Duck Lady twice a year for the rest of her life. Maybe she could learn to say No a bit more? 

“Impeccably punch-lined anecdotes…
Genuinely delightful” **** The Telegraph

“A treat from start to finish” *****
The Herald

Ages 16+

TICKETS

£20 advance*
£23 on the door

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Evening Menu available to book before the show!

Call 01983 722124 to book a table.

We take great care to prevent cross contamination of allergens in our kitchen but due to the layout and operation we cannot guarantee that your order is 100% free of allergen ingredients. Please make a member of staff aware of any allergies when placing your order. Thank you!

*Our booking fees explained:
Our goal is to provide an excellent personal service to our customers and to do this requires a lot of resource. The booking fee we levy contributes to the cost of running the Quay Arts Centre, its Box Office and Box Office systems. As a charitable not for profit organisation all income is used to support the delivery of arts and cultural activities to our local community.